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Our toaster works on either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings: too soon or too late. (Sam Levenson)
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Topics \ Anything Goes \ A Farmers Life
| A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time rolled on, the population grew and the traffic became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run down at a rate of four to seven a day...
One mornin' he called the sheriff and said, "Alrite now Nick, you've gotta do something about all of these speeders killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
"I don't care, just do something about those dang drivers."
So the next day he had the county go out and put up a sign that said: "SLOW - SCHOOL CROSSING.
Three days later the farmer called the sheriff and said, "Nick, c'mon now, you gotta do something about these drivers! The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go faster."
So, again, the sheriff sends out the county maintenance and they put up a new sign: "SLOW - CHILDREN AT PLAY."
And that really sped them up... So the farmer finally calls and tells the sherriff "Your signs are doing no darn good. I'll put up my own sign!"
The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let the farmer do just about anything in order to have him stop calling. Well, the sheriff got no
more calls from the farmer.
Three weeks after the farmers last call, the sheriff decided to call him. "How's the problem with those drivers, Clem? Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did. Ain't lost one chicken since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy."
And he hung up the phone. The sheriff thought to himself, "I'd better go to that farmer's house and look at that sign... There might be something there that WE could use to slow down drivers..."
So the sheriff drove out to the farmer's house, and he saw the sign. It was a whole sheet of plywood. And written in large yellow letters were the words: "SLOW: NUDIST COLONY."
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